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Я Поэт 24.ру Стихи о любви Публикация : стихи и рассказы - Просто.. - Стихи без категории
Добавь приложение вконтакте Я поэт 24 часа

Зарабатывай на материалах по школьной литературе



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Просто..
Маленькому Актеру

<
Дата: 2013-01-29 12:11 Просмотров 621
Рейтинг произведения -2,35
Одобряю Не одобряю

Просто в одной руке,
Держит меня моя судьба,
Просто я вижу в тебе -
Вижу в тебе себя.
\
Я не люблю тебя,
Я тебя и не любил.
Просто в твоем вранье -
Я вижу молодого себя.

Просто в твоих губах,
Я вижу свои следы.
Просто ты - мелкий я.
Просто тебе надо любви....


ПРОЧИТАЛ? - ОСТАВЬ КОММЕНТАРИИ! - (4)
Отправить жалобу администрации

> 1 <

1.   Разместил Danish   2013-01-29 12:16    

"Просто в твоих губах,
Я вижу свои следы" - это как? Помаду размазал, что ли?

С образностью надо обращаться осторожно, а то серьёзное стихотворение превращается в укатайку

2.   Разместил Svetlanka)91   2013-01-29 12:26    

))да...если бы это была проза: просто я смотрю на твои губы, нет даже не на них.. "в них" в самую их суть .....и вижу даже там себя...молодого себя)))

не на них он смотрить))он смотрит ""в них""...несерьезная образность))

3.   Разместил Danish   2013-01-29 12:40    

Это понятно, только "губы" - не слишком подходящее место, чтобы сочетаться со "следами". Поэтому и не работает образ.

4.   Разместил IcodoToro   2022-10-18 03:54    

Renal clearance in rheumatoid arthritis RA patients taking Hydroxychloroquine sulfate tablets for at least six months seemed to be similar to that of the single dose studies in volunteers, suggesting that no change occurs with chronic dosing lasix and breastfeeding 74, 75 Some serotonin reuptake inhibitors SRIs, such as paroxetine, may deleteriously reduce serum levels of the active metabolite of tamoxifen, but venlafaxine does not appear to affect levels significantly

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